Washington, D.C., — President Donald Trump announced Friday that he has ordered a full naval blockade of Afghanistan, declaring that the United States will “close all their ports” and prevent any movement of goods “in or out” of the landlocked nation. The statement, made during a press briefing at the White House, immediately sparked confusion among international observers and military analysts.

“There will be a total naval blockade,” the president said. “Afghanistan’s access to international trade will be completely restricted until further notice.”

NEW YORK — In a sweeping change to one of the nation’s most recognizable holiday traditions, Walmart announced today that it will assume sponsorship and operational control of the long-running Thanksgiving parade formerly hosted by Macy’s. The transition follows Macy’s unexpected bankruptcy filing earlier this month, ending nearly a century of the department store’s association with the event.

Los Angeles, CA — FBI Director Kash Patel took home top honors on this week’s season finale of Dancing with the Stars, capturing both the “Judge’s Choice” and “Freestyle” categories with a combination of athletic precision and surprising charisma.

Glendale, AZ -- Erika Kirk, a media personality and advocate known for her work on conservative and social issues, confirmed Sunday that she is eight weeks pregnant. The announcement, made during an interview with Megyn Kelly, included few personal details and did not identify the father.

Kirk, 33, shared that she was “grateful and healthy” but requested privacy during the early stages of her pregnancy. “This is a deeply personal time,” her statement read. “I’m focusing on health, faith, and gratitude for this new chapter.”

Washington, D.C. — President Donald Trump is pushing for a new bill aimed at centralizing oversight of artificial intelligence under the federal government, sparking immediate debate among lawmakers, corporate leaders, and state officials.

Washington, D.C., — President Donald Trump on Wednesday characterized his first in-person meeting with New York City’s mayor-elect, Zohran Mamdani, as exceptionally positive, telling reporters the conversation was “very perfect.”

The meeting, held in the Oval Office, lasted just under an hour. While observers anticipated discussions on federal funding, public safety, or infrastructure, Trump said the two leaders spent much of their time talking about the newly crowned Miss Universe, Fatima Bosch.

Washington, D.C. — Former Vice President Dick Cheney was laid to rest on Wednesday in a solemn ceremony attended by political leaders, dignitaries, and longtime colleagues. The service, held at the Washington National Cathedral, featured an unexpected yet poignant musical tribute from actor and singer Kevin Spacey.