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Denver, Colo. — In a stunning turn of events, controversial Congresswoman Lauren Boebert has revealed that she has been diagnosed with a rare neurological condition known as "James Thurber Syndrome." Even more shockingly, Boebert claims that she has been secretly living a double life as the occupant of the Oval Office. 

Austin, Texas — What began as an elaborate April Fool’s Day prank has now become a reality. Texas, known for its independent spirit and love for firearms, has officially banned handguns, leaving citizens and lawmakers alike in shock.

Mar-a-Lago, Fla. — Former President Donald Trump has unveiled a bold immigration plan that has left the nation divided. According to sources close to the matter, Trump’s proposal involves giving undocumented immigrants to wealthy donors in exchange for their financial support.

The plan, which has raised eyebrows across party lines, aims to address both immigration reform and campaign financing. Here are the key points:

Streaming giant Netflix has made headlines for an unconventional and highly controversial marketing stunt. Reports have confirmed that a cargo ship, bearing the unmistakable Netflix logo, collided with a bridge in Baltimore in what appears to be a promotional effort for their hit release "Leave the World Behind.”

Miami — Former U.S. President Donald J. Trump was spotted celebrating the Hindu festival of Holi with great enthusiasm. The event took place at a private residence in the heart of Miami, where Trump was seen dancing, throwing colorful powders, and enjoying traditional Indian sweets.

Daytona, Fla. — In an unprecedented turn of events, the high-octane world of Formula One racing has taken a delightful detour. On this National Puppy Day, drivers from all teams have swapped their usual co-pilots for a more adorable and furrier alternative: their beloved puppies!

Vatican City — In a solemn and uplifting ceremony at St. Peter’s Square, Pope Francis officiated the Palm Sunday Mass, marking the beginning of Holy Week. Amidst the waving palm fronds and the faithful gathered from around the world, the Pontiff delivered a powerful message of hope, compassion, and faith.

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