Supreme Court Justice Launches Unexpected Food Venture

May 23 , 2024

HENDERSON, NV. - Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito announced today that he is launching a new line of frozen Mexican food products under the brand name "Alito's Arroz."

The inaugural offering will be "Supreme Chilaquiles" - a frozen version of the classic Mexican dish made with tortilla chips smothered in green or red salsa, topped with crema, onions, cheese, and other garnishes.

"I have always been a passionate lover of Mexican cuisine," said Alito in a press conference from his home in Henderson, Nevada. "With Alito's Arroz, I want to bring the vibrant and delicious flavors of Mexico into the homes of families across America through high-quality frozen entrees and side dishes."

Alito, 73, says the idea came to him during a recent vacation in Cabo San Lucas, where he was inspired by the fresh and authentic Mexican fare. He began experimenting with recipes and soon became obsessed with re-creating his favorite dishes in frozen form for national distribution.

"I started tinkering with techniques to capture that just-made taste you get in your abuela's kitchen, but with the convenience of a frozen meal you can simply heat and serve," Alito explained.

The Supreme Chilaquiles will hit grocery freezer aisles in select markets next month. Alito says he has many more Mexican favorites in the pipeline, including frozen enchiladas, taquitos, tamales, and even frozen margarita pouches.

While the move may seem unorthodox for a sitting Supreme Court Justice, Alito says his new business venture is simply about sharing his passion for Mexican food with the masses. Legal experts say there is no conflict of interest, as long as he remains impartial in any cases related to the food industry.

"This is my way of giving something delicioso back to the American people I serve," said Alito with a smile. "Plus, I make a mean frozen marg."

Kate Laurensen